#KnowYourNeighbor: In Talks with Maria Sartaj

Maria is a columnist, currently writing for The Daily Times in Pakistan. She has previously contributed to one of Pakistan's leading dailies, Dawn, as well. She is passionate about observing desi people, so much so that she is always reading them and predicting their actions. Big on food, she decides her next day's meals the night before! The Lighthouse Project got in touch with Maria to know what she has to say about India and how she plays her part in breaking stereotypes.

1. Tell us about your connections with India/Pakistan and what took you there?

I am what you will call a true Mahajir. My family has been uprooted several times. Originally from Ballia, Uttar Pradesh, the folks then moved to Dhaka during partition and eventually to Karachi where I was born in the 80's. So in essence, I have a connection with all these three countries. I have spent a lot of my life living in Canada but was never disconnected from the desi social fabric.

2. What are some of your fondest memories or any specific event that you recall often while you were traveling across the border? Have you ever been worried about the travel?

I first traveled independently and absolutely alone to India in 2005. Even though I had visited India as a child, this was a new experience. I didn't bother with too much of a thought about how my journey was going to go and that I think made a difference. I wasn't worried at all, in fact I was pretty brave at that tender age to be venturing alone to Chandni Chowk or even Varanasi all by myself.

3. Did your travel break any stereotypes about the other country? Please share your story.

I refrain from generalizing people as it limits our vision so no I didn't go with any stereotypes but I did learn to distinguish Maharashtrians from South Indians etc. This happened as I made friends and learnt more about their culture. From a distance especially when one watches Bollywood films you tend to assume all Indians are Punjabis and don't give much importance to other regions.

4. What are the commonalities that you have observed between both the nations?

Besides the obvious such as language, food or a common history I think logon main sirf unees bees ka farq hai. We are both family oriented nations, care too much about what others think and are very class conscious. This class division that is so socially prevalent ought to go as it hinders mental growth of societies big time.

5. In this day of modern technology, do you think social media has played an important role in bridging the gap?

Absolutely. And I think people should utilize portals like Twitter in a more effective way as well and not just trend India vs Pakistan or political bakwas against each other. This is really a window of opportunity to get to know each other whereas Facebook often limits you to just your friends.

6. What are your thoughts on the existing talks between the two countries? How do you suggest we ease the existing tensions between the two nations?

I think these talks can keep happening in the background because they are an ongoing process and dependent on governments which often have agendas of their own. So let's bring small changes in our thinking. Let's google and save more images from Kerala to put in our bucket list for example. Let's experiment more with cuisines and try recipes from Assam for instance. The internet has given us the key to explore the 'forbidden' other nation and it is upto us how we soften the discrimination in our hearts.

7. What is your vision for India and Pakistan in the year 2025?

Practically speaking, a lot more trade should happen, many more marriages between people of the two nations, and a lot more tourist visas to be issued freely without heartache.

8. Finally what is your message for our readers, how can they know their neighbor better?

There will always be groups of people on either side that will play on our emotions and want us to hate each other more. Don't fall for their shabby games, it is very easy to hate, show your mature side and see your neighbor as just another person trying to survive in this tough world. We all have similar struggles and obstacles in our personal and professional world so let's try and be more sensitive and giving towards the one who lives across the border but looks just like you and I and likes his evening Chai and Samosa just as much!